


A Breath of Fresh Air

by abbysfrenchbraid



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Yearning, Semi Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27857370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbysfrenchbraid/pseuds/abbysfrenchbraid
Summary: Set after the end of TLOU2, Abby and Lev have arrived at Catalina Island and healed from their injuries. The reader (who is very much in love with Abby) is taking them out of the base for a beach day and getting closer to Abby.
Relationships: Abby (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. Beach Day

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested on my tumblr (abbysfrenchbraid). I've been away for a while because of my mental state, but I'm feeling a bit better, and writing this fic made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much!

“Hey, look what I got!”

You looked up from the gas canister you were currently using to fill up a truck’s tank and felt a warm rush of happiness fill your chest. Lev had just entered the garage and was holding out a red backpack.

“The teacher gave it to me so I finally have my own. And it’s even my favorite color!”

You stopped pouring the gasoline and screwed the lid back on the canister. 

“Hey, you. So what are you bringing in your new backpack, then?”

The scrawny boy jumped on the back of the truck and crouched down, flipping the bag over and dumping its contents on the platform. With quick fingers, he arranged all the items to lie in a neat line, tapping them as he listed: “Water bottle, sandwich, apple, lighter, knife, towel, swimming trunks. Abby said not to take the bow because it’s a secure area.”

You nodded. “Good job, you’re fully equipped.” Catalina Island was a completely safe zone, the Fireflies had made sure of that. During the last few years, patrol teams had combed through the entire island killing infected and now anyone coming in from the mainland had to spend two days in quarantine to ensure their health. Carrying around a knife or gun at all times was just a habit none of the people who had ever fought infected or other groups would ever let go of. 

“Lev? You in here?” Lev had been concentrating on putting all his supplies back into the backpack and you both jerked up when you heard the familiar voice in the corridor. It had been weeks and she still had the same effect on you. The tall blonde stepped through the doorway and your breath caught in your throat. She was wearing green cargo pants and black combat boots as always, but you could see the blue fabric of a swimsuit peeking out at the neckline of her grey t-shirt.

“Oh hey, there you are. Are we ready to go?”

“Your hair!” you exclaimed, in awe at the beautiful freckled face that was looking at you with excitement. Abby smiled and instinctively rubbed the back of her head that was now cut short. When she and Lev had arrived three weeks ago, they had looked horrible, dehydrated and full of bruises and cuts, their faces marked by the sun and the pain they had had to endure. Abby hadn’t said a word about her obviously violently cut hair but Lev had told you that she had always worn it in a long braid before the rattlers captured them. You tried to imagine her with long hair but it just didn’t seem fitting for the woman standing before you. 

“I got it done today, Mario is a saint. Do you like it?”

Lev squinted at her for a moment, then he solemnly said: “It suits you very well.” 

She had apparently finally gotten around to visiting your colleague, another mechanic who also worked at a barber on the side. Most men and some women just pragmatically shaved their heads themselves, but there were always a few people who wanted something more complicated. When Mario had visited you at the medical station after your accident and gotten to know your two new roommates, he had immediately offered his services if they ever wanted a haircut. Lev had declined, explaining that he always shaved his head himself, but Abby had thanked him and promised to come around when she was allowed to leave medical. 

You smiled at her and before you could stop yourself you blurted out “You look hot.” 

The blonde laughed and even though you felt yourself blushing, you knew you had said the right thing. She really did look hot. Mario had shaved her sides short and fluffed up the top, letting a few strands fall into her face. You wanted to reach out and gently brush them back, but you stopped yourself and snapped out of your daydream. 

“Okay, my bag’s already in the front. You all set?”

Abby nodded and put her backpack on the back of the truck, positioning herself to jump on.

“Wait, can I sit in the back? I’ll be careful, I promise. I’d just really like to see what it feels like,” Lev pleaded. You looked at Abby who just rolled her eyes and grinned.

“Alright, kid. But no standing up, and if it gets bumpy you hold on tight!” 

She squeezed the boy’s shoulder and grabbed her bag, circling around the back of the car to get into the passenger seat. Lev gracefully jumped in the back and closed the hatch, looking at you with a glint in his eye you had never seen on him before. For the first time since the two had arrived here, he seemed genuinely happy and excited. 

You sat down in the driver’s seat and started the truck, maneuvering out of the parked cars around you and giving the porter a signal to open the garage door. Your hand still felt weak and fragile as you switched gears and drove through the two front gates or the base, absentmindedly clenching your fist and stretching out your fingers to get rid of the sensation.

In the corner of your eye, you could see Abby giving you a slightly worried look. 

“You okay there? I can drive, too, if you want me to.” 

You bit your lip in frustration and shook your head. 

“Thanks, Abby. I just need to get used to using this stupid hand again.”

The blonde rolled down her window and let in the salty breeze, leaning her head against the frame and closing her eyes as the sun kissed her face. 

“Alright. Just let me know.”

Turning onto the road down to the beach, you sighed and tried to let go of all of your anger and discontent with one long exhale. It would get you nowhere.

You had been lying underneath a car to fix some spots that had rusted through when your lifting jacks had made a weird noise. Even though you had been quick to try and slip out from under the car, you hadn’t been fast enough. The wheels had been taken off to change the tires and as the jacks collapsed, the side of the vehicle crushed your arm, your ribs and left you with internal bleeding. 

It had been no one's fault, just a terrible misfortune. After undergoing several surgeries and spending four weeks in a hospital bed, two battered strangers had been carried in and kept you company for the next few days. 

The WLF soldier also had a few broken ribs, several cuts and stab wounds. Other than a few bruises, dehydration and the extreme sunburn they had both suffered, the small Seraphite was surprisingly well off, and while you two older women had been laying around in your own misery, he had started trying to cheer you up, help your recovery and motivate you to look forward to the days to come.

Both of you had started carefully training your injured limbs again and encouraged each other on the tiresome, difficult journey back to health while Lev had explored the base, made some friends and working with a trainer to teach others how to shoot with a bow and arrow. Now that you were finally out of the medical wing and able to move without being in excruciating pain, you had decided to take the two out for a deserved day off. 

You rolled your window down and inhaled the fresh sea breeze, immediately smelling the salt and hot sand, the earthy aroma of the bushes lining the road and the sun warming up the air and promising you a wonderful day. Without thinking, you let out a scream of joy and laughed into the wind that pulled on your hair and invited you to play. You turned to beam at Abby, who looked amused and a little surprised. Before you could say anything, you heard an attempted wolf howl from the back of the truck and looked in the rearview mirror. Lev was kneeling in the middle of the platform, his head thrown back and his hands at his mouth to amplify his cries. He took a big breath and howled a second time, laughing afterward and stretching out his arms to the side.

A small noise drew your attention back to your passenger. Abby was looking out of the window and her torso was shaking slightly. For a split second, you thought she was crying, but then her little chuckle grew into loud laughter and she whooped, also stretching out her arm and making wave motions with her hand. 

“Jesus, Y/N, you’re amazing! This is amazing!”

She looked at you, eyes wide with excitement and a grin stretching across her entire face. You felt like your heart was going to explode. This really was amazing. You took another turn and there it was: the sea. Blue and wild, sparkling like millions of diamonds and dancing in the sun, calling out for you and inviting you to jump into the waves and join the celebration. 

You decided to just drive down all the way onto the sand; the truck was made for the terrain and there was no reason to walk if you could just drive up to the perfect spot. 

“Lev,” you yelled, “wanna choose a good spot?”

“Yes,” he screamed back, “over there by the palm tree?”

“Got it, boss!” You geared down and drove onto the sand, carefully testing the terrain. The car seemed to have no problem with the ground and you pressed down the gas, whirling up the sand behind you and making Lev scream with excitement. You came to a halt next to a sturdy palm tree and the boy had jumped off the back before you had stopped the engine. 

He had taken off his shoes and immediately started hopping to the patch of shade, cursing about the hot sand and letting himself fall onto the cool safe haven provided by the tree. Abby laughed and got out herself, opening her backpack and throwing him a big blanket. 

“Here, make yourself useful.”

Lev jumped up and started stretching out the fabric to make room for everyone, then he unpacked his towel and swimming trunks. You grabbed your bag and went over to the two of them, putting your towel down and stopping in your tracks when Abby suddenly pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a sporty blue bikini top. Her abs had practically exploded in only a week; the last time you had seen her stomach had been when she had gotten rid of the hospital gown and announced she was going back to training. Her skin was ivory, a ton of freckles spreading over her shoulders and arms. There were still a few bruises on her ribcage, already yellow and almost completely faded, and her upper arm was marked with a fresh, pink scar.

“What are you staring at? Don’t you wanna go swimming with us?” 

Abby laughed at you and hopped around as she tried to take off her tight pants without falling over. You shook your head to get your brain running again and side-eyed her, trying to hide a grin. 

“Sorry. You’ve already built so much muscle, it’s amazing.”

The blonde looked down and lightly slapped her stomach. 

“Thanks, must be the food here. I’m getting back on track.”

You had already slid out of your pants and quickly took off your shirt now, a little shy about your black bathing suit. But there was no need to worry, now it was Abby’s turn to stare. Her mouth was slightly ajar as she looked you up and down, her hand hovering about her abs as if she had frozen for a second. Finally, she snapped out of her admiration and raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, without the bandages and all.”

While you two had been busy drooling over each other, Lev had already changed into his swimming trunks and now seemed to be calculating how many steps it would take to get to the water and cool his burnt feet. 

Abby stepped closer to you. 

“You ready, Lev? Bet I can beat you both to the water.”

The boy didn’t hesitate one second. He started like lightning, his red pants blown up by the wind as he yelled “ouch, fuck, ow,” trying to lengthen his jumps. Abby winked at you, then she started sprinting after him. 

“Come on, Y/N!”

You quickly took off your socks and ran after them, loosening your ponytail and enjoying the feeling of the warm, soft hair dancing on your skin. Lev had beat Abby and was squealing as he jumped into the waves. The ex-WLF reached him a few seconds later, running into the sea and immediately diving under just to come up again with a scream of joy. She opened her arms as you came running towards her, cursing the hot sand and ready to tackle the blonde with full force. 

She turned to the side and dodged your blow at the last second, letting you crash into the waves and jumping on top of you, pushing you under the surface for a second before pulling you up and blowing a mouthful of water into your face. You gasped for air as the two laughed at you, already plotting your revenge. 

You slapped Abby’s shoulder but her rock-hard muscles easily took the hit. She raised her eyebrows at you and gave your shoulder a seemingly light push that made you topple back into the water. How was she so fucking strong?! You let yourself float on your back for a second, then you dove under and grabbed the surprised soldier by the ankles, digging your fingernails into her skin and pulling her feet out from under her. Pushing off the sand with your feet, you dragged her legs with you so she was pulled underwater. She managed to free herself and you both came up at the same time, laughing and coughing. 

“That’s what you get, shark,” you grinned at her. 

“Wait, are there sharks here?” A half-panicky, half-excited voice from further out told you that Lev had swum quite a bit and was now suddenly overcome by the realization that you three weren’t the only ones in the sea. 

“Yeah, big ones,” Abby yelled, “you better watch out.” 

She winked at you, then she took a deep breath and dove in Lev’s direction, who was facing the opposite direction and didn’t notice the big figure swimming towards him. As expected, he suddenly shrieked, started flailing his arms and fought with something that was pulling him under. When he realized what was going on, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he yelled Abby’s name over and over, trying to get her off. Her head broke the surface next to him and she shook her head, water spraying in all directions as her hair danced in the sun. 

She was roaring with laughter and held out an arm for Lev to hold on to while he caught his breath. 

“Believe me, kid, as much as you love them, you don’t wanna meet sharks face to face.”

He sighed and turned to look at the open water. 

“I know. Maybe we can drive out with a boat sometime and try to see them.”

Abby rubbed his shaved head. 

“You are unbelievably okay with danger, young man.” 

He smiled at her with so much love and admiration in his eyes it made your heart feel like it was going to explode. These two had found each other. You slowly swam towards them and turned on your back again to float, Lev immediately copying you and looking at Abby to do the same. 

“We shouldn’t be in the sun for too long, you two are still not fully healed.” 

Abby groaned and splashed some water in your direction. 

“Let me just have this for a moment, please.” 

You felt a twist in your stomach. She had just been having fun for the first time in forever and you had to ruin it by reminding her of what she had been through. Why couldn’t you just shut up and let her be? You turned to look at her and were surprised to see her smiling at you, nothing but warmth and appreciation in her face. 

“You’re right, Y/N, I know that. Thank you for taking us here and worrying about us.”

Lev had his eyes closed, but he nodded and mumbled something in approval. 

“Come on.” Abby lightly tapped your arm and nodded in the direction of the beach. 

“Let’s head back.” 

“Can I stay here a little longer?” Lev sounded far away, completely at peace as he soaked up the sun and the salty air. 

“Of course, but make sure you don’t swim further out, okay?”

The boy just hummed happily. Both of you didn’t say a word as you and Abby swam back, your mind spinning faster again as she took her last steps out of the water in front of you. Droplets were running down the back of her neck, the curves of her back muscles, butt, and thighs highlighted by the reflections of sunlight on the wet skin. 

She turned around and absentmindedly slicked her dripping hair back, showing off her biceps and abs as she stretched and waited for you to come out of the water. 

“You think the sand is gonna be less painful under wet feet?”

You stumbled out of the waves with little elegance but managed to stay standing up as a wave crashed around your calves. 

“I don’t know, I think we should make a run for it.” 

“Fair,” she nodded and held out her hand. “You ready?”

Ignoring the jump in your chest, you took her hand and she held yours tight, encasing it completely with her cool fingers. 

“Let’s go!” Both of you started running, squealing and laughing as the sand burned your soles once more. You almost fell several times but Abby’s steel grip caught and held you up every time. Slightly out of breath, both of you reached the shade of the palm tree and let yourselves fall on the towels. Abby still hadn’t let go of your hand and you tried to hold your fingers completely still so she wouldn’t notice and let go. 

You were both lying on your backs next to each other, panting and looking up at the green branches above you dancing gently in the sea breeze. Watching Abby out of the corner of your eye, you promised yourself you would always remember this moment. The heat of the sun peeking through the branches, the last drops of saltwater running down your torso, the stickiness of your skin as it dried and left behind tiny salt crystals, the rushing of the waves and the cries of the seagulls. The beautiful blonde next to you, her chest moving with every breath, the little specks of sunlight on her face and her mouth, slightly open as she looked at the sky, deep in thought. 

It felt like this was the first day of your life, like you had been somewhere else every day before, somewhere grey and bitter and hard with little joy and too many worries. You never knew life could feel like this, like riding a wave, like soaring through the summer air, easy laughter, and warm touches. You were free. 

You suddenly noticed that Abby had turned her head to face you, her eyes burning into your skin like the salt that was prickling your cheek with tiny needles. Holding your breath, you slowly turned towards her and were immediately pulled in by her gaze. 

This woman had been by your side almost constantly for three weeks and you had known for a while. What you felt for her was deeper than any connection you had ever had with anyone. She understood you without words and she was never too much for you, as others often were. The blonde made your heart skip beats and your brain often stopped working when she was around, but you still wanted to be by her side every possible second. Through all the pain and trauma and all the terrible things that had happened, you two always found something to laugh about and a way to forget everything for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. 

As you finally released the air from your lungs, you could hear the shakiness in your breath and the rush of your own blood in your ears. It was so loud that you were sure Abby could hear it, too. Your fingers twitched slightly and she immediately tightened her fingers around yours. Slowly, her eyes wandered to your lips and now it was you that could hear her breath catch up in her throat. The distance between your faces was small, maybe a hand’s width, but it felt like miles. It was the feeling before doing a handstand or jumping off a high platform, a move you had seen others do countless times but felt impossible to you, like an invisible wall in your chest stopping your breath and movement at the same time. 

Abby softly ran her thumb over yours, her hazel-green eyes piercing yours. Your racing thoughts came to a halt. You could count every freckle on her face, every tiny salt crystal on her lashes, the faded scars from past battles. She was breathtakingly beautiful. 

Just as she lifted her head ever so slightly to move even closer, there were distant thumps on the sand and you could hear Lev crying out in a mix of joy and pain. You expected Abby to snap back and let go of your hand, but instead she just smiled, sat up and yelled: “Come here, quickly! You don’t want me to have roasted children’s feet for dinner, do you?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lev speeding up towards you.

“I’m not a child, Abby!”

He came to a halt in front of Abby, quickly glancing at your intertwined fingers before frowning at her. She patted the towel next to her. 

“Alright then, sir. Come sit with us, we’re currently being hypnotized by the palm branches.”

“What’s hypnotized?” he asked as he let himself flop on the towel. 

“Lay down and you’ll see,” Abby said as she lifted her free arm and rested her head on her hand, staring up at the sky again. 

“It’s the feeling of watching something - or someone - and completely getting lost in what you see. Your head gets all quiet and you’re willing to do anything the person hypnotizing you says.”

Her thumb was drawing circles on the back of your hand.

Lev let out a big breath as he solemnly folded his hands over his stomach and looked up at the leaves waving back and forth. 

You all lay there for a while, not speaking, just soaking in each other’s presence and the untainted beauty of the world in this very moment. Abby’s touch sent electrical waves through your arm right into your heart, filling your chest with liquid gold and having you fight down an ecstatic squeal of happiness. Did this mean she actually felt the same way? 

In the midst of all the joy you felt in that moment, there was a tiny voice in your head telling you that this was just an exceptional situation and things would go back to the way they were once you returned. Abby liked you, that much you were sure of, but was she really willing to go a step further and open up to you like that? Trust someone with that kind of vulnerability?

You swallowed hard, trying to fight down the tiny storm of panic brewing in your throat. There was absolutely no reason to ruin this moment for yourself. You let go of Abby’s hand to prop yourself up on your elbow, turning your body towards her. 

There was confusion in her eyes and a slightly worried look.

“Everything okay?” she whispered.

Looking up over her shoulder, you saw that Lev had fallen asleep. He looked like a little vampire, pale from the lack of sunlight on his newly recovered skin over the last weeks, lying stone still in a perfectly straight line with his hands still folded. 

You lay back down just a little bit closer to Abby than before, this time facing her completely. You could feel her breath on your lips and couldn’t stop yourself from raising a hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. She closed her eyes for a second at your touch, then she leaned into your hand. You cupped her cheek, drawing your thumb over her cheek and her bottom lip.

“More than okay,” you breathed as you ran your fingers through her hair and down the back of her neck, making her shiver despite the heat. 

Slowly this time, you sat up and whispered “Come with me.” 

Both of you stood up and now it was you that held out a hand. The Firefly took it and you both hurried towards the water again, trying not to be too loud and wake up the boy in your care. 

Finally on wet sand, you sat down and pulled Abby down with you as the water lapped at your ankles. 

You took a deep breath, glancing at the blonde’s questioning look and quickly looking down at your feet. 

“I’m so glad we finally got out of the base and came out here. You guys haven’t even seen all the beautiful places on Catalina. We could do this more often, I know my way around the Island.”

Abby drew circles in the sand, the tracks of her fingers immediately washed away by every new wave. Squinting against the sun, she softly said: “Yes, I’d like that. It really is beautiful here.”

Your heart was pounding again. What were you thinking, taking her away alone without even knowing what to say? She was obviously waiting for you to tell her something Lev shouldn’t hear. You wanted so badly just to tell her how you felt, but your head was just completely devoid of words. 

She had mercy with you. “Where else would you like to take me?” 

Her? Alone? You bit your lip, trying frantically to come up with something good. 

“There is a bay called Little Harbor, the water is bright turquoise and it’s on the west coast, so you get some amazing sunsets there. There’s a hunting cabin there, too, back from when we hadn’t fully secured the island yet. I could get a friend in admin to give us a check-up mission, let us check the electricity and stock up the hut. Only if you’d want to, of course.”

Abby nodded. “That sounds amazing. I’m cleared for missions starting next Monday, I need to start doing my part anyways. We could go whenever it fits your schedule.” 

You smiled at her. “Great. I’ll let my friend know.”

“Are we going to stay there overnight, then?” 

You could hear the amusement in her voice. She knew she was making you all flustered and nervous and was just teasing you now so you elbowed her, stifling a laugh.

“It could be arranged.”

She placed her hand on your knee, looking at you to catch your reaction. You felt yourself blush and pressed your lips together, trying not to die on the spot. 

“Y/N.” 

Her face was now directly next to yours, her breath warm on your cheek again. It took everything in your power to turn your head and look her directly in the eye. Well, you tried to, but her eyes were on your lips again, her tongue quickly running over her bottom lip only to disappear again. 

And finally, after weeks of uncertainty, of pining and yearning and trying to get her out of your head, she grabbed the back of your neck and gently pulled you in. Her lips were incredibly soft, cushioning your movement as you pressed your mouth on hers, desperately trying to stay in this moment forever. She tasted like the sea, but her warm skin still smelled like the forest. It always did. 

You leaned into her, deepening the kiss as she put her arm around your shoulders and ran her hand over your thigh. Nothing had ever felt better than this. 

The blonde pulled away slightly, peeking at you through long eyelashes and licking her lips again. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time,” she confessed, never releasing your gaze.

“Me too,” was all you got out under your shaky breath before she kissed you again, sweet and smiling, placing tiny kisses on your cheeks and jawline before moving up to graze her lips over your nose and forehead. 

“I’m so lucky,” she mumbled against your temple. “After everything Lev and I have been through and of all the places in the world…”

She wasn’t the type to speak much about her feelings and this was probably the most you would get from her for now, but it was more than enough for you to understand. You rested your head on her shoulder as you both stared out to the open water. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You knew this was a lot to reveal, but you trusted Abby to not get scared away easily. 

“You know, Lev is going to be so relieved.” Abby snorted and turned around to see if there was any movement at your spot, but the little Seraphite seemed to still be enjoying his afternoon nap. 

Your brows almost hit your hairline. “You’re gonna tell him right away?” 

She laughed and slapped your thigh before tightening her grip around it.

“Sure, he’s been listening to me debating my next step for the last week. He was so excited for today because he thought you’d make a move.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 

“He has zero faith in me, you know. He knows I easily face any kind of danger and I always win my fights, but he thought I didn’t have the guts to kiss you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, Miss Warrior, you’re the toughest. I remember Lev telling me something about crane bridges?”

She gasped in feigned shock. “I trust him with all my secrets and he just goes and tells you about them? What a little brat.”

You both had to laugh; it was clear that no one loved Lev more than Abby and no one in this world could ever really be angry with him. 

“No seriously, I tell him everything. He’s all I got left.” She looked down and smiled to herself, no bitterness or sadness in her voice but a deep appreciation and nothing but love for her partner through thick and thin. 

Her last sentence stung a little, but you knew it was going to be a while before Abby would know just how much she could count on you to be there for her. Trust had to be earned. 

-

You spent the rest of your day in the shade with Lev, eating the fruit you had brought, playing cards, reading, and stealing kisses while the boy went for another swim in the ocean. Lev was sad you couldn’t light a bonfire as it got dark, but you had to get back in time for dinner. 

Both you and Abby promised him another beach day with stick bread at the campfire as soon as you both found the time again. Meanwhile, he could try to find some friends to come along. 

As you packed up your things, the sun was setting behind the green hills of the island and painting the sky pink, orange and purple, delivering a spectacle almost as wonderful as the one going on inside you. 

Lev jumped on the back of the truck without asking this time and both of you got in the front. The drive was quiet, all of you deep in thought, reminiscing about the day you had had. 

“Thanks again for doing this,” Abby said, playing with a strand of your hair. The windows were rolled down and the cool evening air was dancing through the cabin, filling your lungs and clearing your mind. 

“You’re very welcome.”

“I can’t wait for our cabin trip. A sunset just for the two of us,” she remarked, looking at you from the side. 

Finally back on the main road, you placed your hand on her thigh. You had wanted this for so long and now you would do everything in your power to win Abby’s heart entirely. 

“When do I see you again?” you asked, scared to hear the answer. 

“Tomorrow morning? You could pick me up from the gym for breakfast if you want. I’d offer to train with you but I think your doctors would feed me to the sharks.”

You laughed at the thought; it had taken forever to convince the medical staff to let you go today. It was going to be a few more weeks of physiotherapy to get your body back on track. 

“Okay. I’m pretty sure they’re making pancakes tomorrow. A commander’s birthday, I think. Pick you up at 8?”

She placed her hand on top of yours and squeezed it. 

“I’ll be waiting.”


	2. Little Harbor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and the reader are finally able to make the overnight trip to Little Harbor and spend the night at a cabin there. It turns out that the reader doesn't know everything about Abby's past and there are still some bridges to cross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely hope you all enjoyed Part 1, here is Part 2 that I got a little carried away with.
> 
> CW for death/loss (Seattle backstory of the Salt Lake squad), pregnancy, light nudity, mention of suicide, language, blood.
> 
> There is a playlist I curated for this fic. It’s called Little Harbor on Spotify and has a picture of Abby in the thumbnail. Make sure you disable shuffle and listen to the songs in order for them to fit!

The last few days had been a blur of happiness and secrecy. Stolen kisses in empty hallways, sitting next to each other in the cafeteria with your knees touching, sunsets in the watchtower staircase, and sweaty hugs whenever you picked up Abby after her morning training. It was clear to you by now that there was no going back and no stopping this. You were absolutely, hopelessly falling for the tall blonde soldier and she actually seemed to feel the same, which was still unbelievable to you. 

Abby had taken up work with some of the combat and strategy trainers, educating them on the different groups she had encountered on her journey and on their territory, tactics, and relationships with each other. Lev had come in to explain more about the Seraphites, their whistle language, and their infrastructure. Even though it was unlikely that the Seraphites or WLF would come knocking at the Fireflies’ door, they still wanted to know as much as possible about the current state of the world. 

The Rattlers were a different story altogether. Lev refused to speak about them and even though Abby had told the Firefly leaders about them as soon as she was conscious after her emergency surgeries, there was still much to talk about. She tried as hard as she could to remember every little detail and she got incredibly frustrated with herself when she found gaps in her memory even though that wasn’t her fault. The torture and mistreatment at the hands of these bastards had been so immensely traumatizing that her mind refused to let her remember the worst parts. 

While the past few days with her had been all fun and exciting, the nights had been more difficult and it had taken a lot of strength from both of you to get through this together. Abby was just learning to confide in you and talk about her feelings while you struggled with being there for her the right way, having never experienced anything close to the terror she must have felt. After the first day in the strategy room, Abby had knocked on your door just as you were about to go to bed and practically fallen apart in your arms. The Fireflies had decided to send a few teams back to Santa Barbara to see if there were any survivors and capture or help the people they found, depending on their previous alliance. They had offered Abby to go back with them, which she declined, and made it clear that she had to try to identify every single person they brought back.

You just hoped that the only people left there were the other prisoners who had freed themselves. It would be horrifying to know that some of the torturers could soon be sitting somewhere in this very building, practically at arm’s reach from Abby and Lev.

Although the others had advised her not to, Abby had told Lev about all the plans and tasks to come and he had agreed to help identifying people but remained silent about his thoughts or fears. 

Trying your best to make Abby’s first week as an official Firefly less hard on her, you had organized a mission for you both to go to Little Harbor. You were supposed to check up on the little cabin there, throw out anything that wasn’t necessary and stock it with a few supplies in case someone in the area needed them in the future. The best thing about Little Harbor was the beautiful beach that stretched in a perfect arc and had the most beautiful sunsets you had ever seen. 

You had just talked to your friend in admin and gotten the confirmation for the mission. For a second, you debated telling Abby at lunch in an hour but you simply couldn’t wait. Rolling up the note with the assignment on it and shoving it in your back pocket, you rushed toward the east wing of the base, practically jumping with every step. 

As you came closer to the strategy room, you heard muffled voices. There seemed to be a heated discussion. You really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you were already at the door and didn’t feel like you should knock and interrupt them in the middle of their conversation. 

“Oh come on, Abby, what are you not telling us? You have to know more about her than that!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t know where they lived and I don’t know where she is now! I met them the first time at the WLF outpost in the middle of nowhere around Seattle and the last time I saw her she was in Santa Barbara. She’s probably dead, anyway, she was injured and all alone.”

She? Who were they talking about? Abby had never told you about a woman in Santa Barbara. Maybe another prisoner?

Someone slammed a hand on the table. 

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we lost her again after all this time. At least we know Joel paid for what he did at Salt Lake.”

This sparked your attention. You knew Abby had grown up at the Salt Lake outpost before the massacre. Was Joel the guy who killed all the Fireflies there, including the doctors?

“What do you want with her anyway?” That was Abby again. She sounded bitter. “It’s not like we have the means to make a vaccine, Joel made sure of that. You’ll see what she did with the rattlers when you get there. Maybe you’ll find her body, too, and I can finally have some fucking peace.”

There was silence for a brief moment. Then a woman said: “Alright, let’s take a break. The teams are driving out to Santa Barbara tomorrow, then we’ll see what we find. Abby, thank you for everything you told us. Take some time for yourself, I’ll call for you when the reports are in and hopefully a few survivors, too. I’ll see the rest of you after lunch.” 

You could hear feet shuffling and chairs being pushed around. Quickly, you tiptoed away from the door and halfway through the corridor, then you turned around just as the door opened. Abby came out first, frowning and with her hands balled into firsts. When she saw you, her face lit up and she relaxed, taking a few big steps towards you and awkwardly coming to a halt in front of you, a little too close for a friend. 

“Perfect timing, huh?” She smiled at you before nodding to a few others that passed you. 

You forced yourself to focus and smiled back. 

“Yeah, I came to tell you that our mission is approved. We can leave as soon as possible.”

“Oh, that’s great! Martha just said I could have the day off and probably need to report back in tomorrow night earliest. Should we just pack now and get going after lunch?”

“Good idea. Say we meet in the cafeteria in 15?” you suggested.

Abby nodded. “See you there.”

-

As you packed your backpack, you tried to process what you had just heard. Abby knew the man who had run amok at the Firefly Hospital and apparently he was dead now. There had been another woman in Santa Barbara, and she had something to do with a possible vaccine? You knew the Fireflies had been extremely invested in the search for a vaccine after the outbreak, but they had given up on it a long time ago. Now they just tried to build safe zones without any infected in order to build communities of Fireflies, other survivors, and anyone else who wanted to join you. 

Why were the others so keen on finding the other woman? What did Abby have to do with Joel and the massacre at the hospital? And why was this whole thing still affecting her so badly after all those years? 

You wanted to try to talk to Abby later and find out what had gone down in Santa Barbara and at Salt Lake, but you also knew she had been waiting for this day to finally come so she could get out of here and distract herself for a while. Who were you to ruin this by forcing her to relive her trauma all over again?

Closing the zipper on your backpack and throwing it over your shoulder, you decided to just take it a step at a time. First, you had to get some food into your stomach.

-

Abby was excited about the trip and spent almost the whole meal asking you questions about the bay and the cabin. She told you she had spent some time in cabins up in Washington with her old WLF crew, but it had been snowing back then and the summer here was just an entirely different experience. 

Lev was a bit sad he couldn’t go with you, but you promised him a beach bonfire in the next two weeks. He was way too happy about his new friends and tasks to sulk about your little duo mission. The boy was a fantastic archer and was now tasked with teaching archery and bow building (?) to younger trainees and adult soldiers. He was delighted at being taken so seriously by people older than him for the first time in his life. His lessons at school were going well apparently, he enjoyed history and biology a lot.

Abby was attentively listening to him talking about crop diversification and the produce grown here during the different seasons as a group of fully-equipped soldiers came into the cafeteria. They seemed excited about their mission and were making a ton of noise, jeering and shoving each other around as they picked up their rations for the next two days from the serving counter. Abby and Lev both went quiet, poking around in their food and seemingly holding their breaths until the squad had left. 

Lev suddenly looked up at Abby with tears in his eyes.

“Do you think any of the Rattlers survived?” His voice was high pitched and he sounded like he was about to choke. 

“Oh, Lev.” The blonde put her arm around his shoulder, her hands looking huge in comparison to his small frame. “I have no idea, I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure the other prisoners were freed and got their revenge. She also freed some of the walkers in the area. It must have been bad. We’ll just have to wait and see, but I promise they’ll never lay a hand on you ever again.”

There she was again, the mysterious woman. Now you’d at least have a valid reason to bring it up. The boy sighed, then he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and straightened up. He waved over to a few other kids waiting at the exit. 

“I need to go. Math class.” He grimaced and you and Abby both had to laugh. No one enjoyed math, but a certain basic knowledge was necessary for everyone here. 

“See you tomorrow, Lev. I’ll bring her back safely,” you promised him and Abby rolled her eyes at you, but he gave you a genuinely thankful nod before tapping her shoulder as a goodbye and running over to his friends. 

Abby smiled at you, her eyes lighting up as she remembered your plans for the day. 

“You ready to go?” she asked, standing up and grabbing her backpack. 

“Let’s get out of here.” You put on your backpack as well, took your plates and placed them in a plastic tub next to the counter.

In the empty corridor leading to the garage, Abby snuck her fingers between yours, sending sparks over your skin and making the butterflies dance in your stomach. Gently, she pulled you toward her and after a quick glance left and right, she gave you a soft peck on the lips. You reacted instantly, burying your fingers in her hair and pulling her in for a second kiss, this time less innocent. Abby chuckled and grabbed your shoulder to push you away just a few inches and look you in the eyes. 

You felt yourself blush and rubbed a hand over your eyes. 

“Ugh, sorry, I just missed you all morning. Let’s just go.”

Grabbing her hand and pulling her with you, you entered the garage and quickly said hello to your coworkers before checking out the keys and leading Abby to your truck. Your colleagues didn’t lose a single word about the hand-holding and you were thankful for their discretion. They were your closest friends at the base and they knew you’d tell them more as soon as you were ready. 

The drive out to the cabin took about an hour, one which you spent in blissful silence. You had rolled the windows down again and just like the last time, the summer air was whirling through the cabin and playing with your hair. Abby let an arm hang out of her window and took in the view of the different hills and forest patches, the beaches, and the beautiful meadows. She looked serene, completely at peace with herself and the world.

When you arrived at the cabin, it was better than you had remembered. The little wooden cottage was still in good shape, firewood was stacked up at the back and there was a little front porch with a perfect view of the bay in front of you. Two wooden chairs and a table stood on the porch, completely grown over with moss. 

You fumbled with the keys for a second, then you were inside. All the curtains were drawn, bathing the dusty room in heavy yellow light before you opened them and looked around. Abby was still standing at the doorstep, uncertain of what to do. 

The room was perfectly equipped with a little kitchen unit, a table with four chairs, a worn-out striped couch, and a decently sized bed, luckily covered with a big sheet to stop it from getting unbearably dusty. A narrow door in the corner seemed to lead to a bathroom. You put your hands on your hips and turned to Abby. 

“Well, what do you think? Too dusty for your liking?”

The blonde snapped out of her astonishment. 

“Are you kidding me? Y/N, it’s great! It looks so cozy, I think I’m gonna sleep better than I have for months.” She took a few steps toward you and wrapped her hands around your waist. “Especially when I’m sleeping next to you.” 

“Oh, I thought you were gonna take the couch,” you said dryly. Abby’s eyes widened and you could tell she seriously thought she had overstepped until you wrapped your arms around her neck and snorted, immediately receiving a playful push backward that you put up with by holding on to her for dear life. 

“You’re an asshole,” she laughed, “I got scared there for a second!” She planted a kiss on your lips and picked you up by your waist, making you squeal. 

“I’m sorry, Abby, ahh! Please let me down!” you begged but you had to admit this was fun. The taller woman gently put you back on your feet, then she said: “Come on, let’s get settled here.”

She opened the windows while you tried the tap unsuccessfully before pulling the sheet off the bed and revealing buttercup yellow sheets. Sweet. Abby used a towel to wipe the dust off the table before setting her bag on it and offering to take yours as well. She put all the supplies in the kitchen cabinet before announcing that she was going to find you some water. 

“When you go outside, there should be a pump on the left side of the house. Make sure to pump for a while until you touch the water, it’s got to be disgusting,” you said as you swept the floor with a broom. 

“Yeah, I know how a cistern works, thanks.” She rolled her eyes at you. A minute later, you could hear the squeaking of the old metal pump and the gurgle of water seeing daylight for the first time in years. You put the broom in the corner and wiped your hands on your jeans. The bed looked inviting, but the beach called to you even louder. You could feel that this night would have a lasting impact on your life and your relationship with Abby. 

After checking on the roof and the cistern, you made your way down to the beach and spent the afternoon swimming, reading, and chasing each other around. One time Abby actually tackled you too hard and you got sand everywhere - your mouth, your nose, your eyes, even under your bathing suit. Abby couldn’t stop apologizing and telling you how sorry she was and how she underestimated her own strength but you swore vengeance for later and laughed it off. In order to get rid of all the sand underneath your suit, you went into the water and took it off before whirling it around over your head and getting Abby all flustered and shy. 

You secretly wanted her to join you, but she seemed to be too timid to go that fast so you put your bathing suit back on and let yourself flop down next to her, purposely splashing water on her and making her squeal as the cold drops hit her hot skin. Following an impulse, you rolled over and on top of her, pressing your cold, wet body on her soft, warm back. This time, she forced herself to stay still and not throw you around again even though she was cursing you and calling you an atrocious little eel, only making you laugh harder. 

After a while, she gave up on fighting you and you rested your cheek on her warm shoulder, humming in satisfaction. This was nice. It would be even better when you’d lie next to her in bed. 

The afternoon seemed to go on forever, time standing still as you two forgot all your worries and enjoyed living in this little bubble of sun, sea and happiness. Then, finally, the sun hung low over the sea, drenching the world in golden light and painting the water orange and the clouds pink. It was an explosion of light and color, the pure beauty you could only find in nature. Or in the person you loved most. 

Looking over at Abby, you saw she was watching the waves and the clouds, the soft light illuminating the tiny hairs on her face and arms and making the dried salt crystals that had stuck to her skin glint like little diamonds. Her dark blonde hair was swaying in the slight breeze and her cheeks had a faint red tinge from the sun. She was mesmerizing. 

You moved closer to her and drew your nose along her jawline, breathing on her neck and placing tiny kisses behind her ear and on her temple until she was humming and leaning into your touch. She slowly turned her head and grazed your open mouth with hers before running the tip of her tongue over your upper lip. She opened her eyes.

“This really is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Nothing has ever made me feel like this,” she mumbled without drawing back. 

“I’m glad you like it. I’ve been wanting to show it to you for a while.”

“I wish you would have shown me sooner. But I’m really happy you’re doing it now.” She turned her torso towards you and brushed her fingers over your thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You could see the specks of gold in her iris, reflecting the last rays of sunlight and making her look ethereal and otherworldly. Oh god, how in the world had you found her? How had she found you? This was too good to be true, but you wanted to believe that it was, to believe that this moment could last forever. 

In a desperate attempt to tell her all this, the beautiful chaos in your heart and your head that started spinning when you were with her, you leaned forward and kissed her. Hard, like you were scared this wasn’t real or it could be your last, then softer when you felt Abby tense up in surprise. She opened her mouth for you and you dragged your tongue against hers, tasting hints of salt and the fruit you had had earlier. You became more confident and placed your hand on her inner thigh which she took in with a gasp before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you closer, her tongue now more forceful and demanding. 

You couldn’t take the space between you any longer and crawled on top of her, straddling her hips as you looked down at her face, her green eyes half-closed and her mouth hanging open. The sun had said its farewells and vanished behind the horizon and the atmosphere created by the dusk suddenly hit you full force. Abby’s face was still softly lit by the pink clouds behind you while the sky behind her was a dark, heavy blue fading to black in the distance. She looked like a fucking painting. 

“I’m so glad I found you,“ you whispered, running your fingers through her hair. 

Abby answered by wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in. She kissed you with a burning passion, gentle but daring, sweet but hot, encasing you with her body and her mouth and pressing you so close that there wasn’t an inch left between you. 

As she moved her hands down your body, pulling your hips closer and caressing your legs, she noticed the goosebumps all over your body and halted for a second.

“Are you cold, baby?”

You wanted to say no, but you had to admit you were starting to shiver under your still slightly damp swimming suit and wet hair, the evening breeze dancing around you and mocking you getting so lost in the moment that you forgot everything around you. 

“I really am,” you sighed, “maybe we could get some blankets and food and start a fire?”

Abby nodded and you struggled to your feet, feeling very naked and small all of a sudden. The blonde noticed your change of behavior and immediately got up next to you. She grabbed your books and towels and wrapped her dry one around your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arms a few times to warm you up before pulling you in for a tight hug. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside and warmed up.”

Inside the cabin, Abby managed to light an oil lamp and fill the room with a wonderfully soft, yellow light. She slowly walked toward you and came to a halt right in front of you. Gently, she placed her hands on your shoulders and took the towel, placing it on a chair beside you. Then she hooked a finger under the strap of your swimsuit and slowly pulled it over your shoulder and down your arm, never breaking eye contact. Both of you were breathing heavily, the air between you felt like sirup and the world seemed to stop turning. 

You laid a hand on top of Abby’s and moved with her, dragging the strap down your arm to expose a slight tan line and a hard nipple standing out into the cold air. Abby still hadn’t moved her eyes from yours, instead helping you pull your arm out of the strap and slowly pulling down the other one until your entire chest was bare. You could feel another rush of goosebumps chasing over your entire body while hot blood shot into your face and painted your cheeks in a deep red. 

You both took a deep breath simultaneously, then you nodded at the tall woman in front of you. She lowered her eyes to your breasts and let out a shaky breath, then she raised a hand and drew her fingertips over your collarbone, down your ribs, and up between your breasts before brushing over your sensitive nipples and finally using both hands to cup your breasts. Finally, she stepped closer and bent her head to kiss you. You melted into her, her hands now all over your body, her hot skin on your cold flesh, and her mouth on yours before attacking your throat, making you throw your head back and let out an ecstatic moan. 

Suddenly, Abby’s hands were on your ass and she picked you up effortlessly. You wrapped your legs around her waist and held on to her shoulders as she carried you towards the bed, sitting down on it with you in her lap. You buried your fingers in her hair and pulled on it as you ground your hips forward and kissed along her jaw. 

In this moment, you felt something shift inside her. She tensed up, but not in a way that felt right in this situation. You let go of her immediately and leaned back to look at her, scared you had done something wrong or she didn’t want you, after all. 

“Abby, is everything okay?” you asked, your voice sounding strangely loud and panicky in the silent room. 

She kept one hand on the small of your back while rubbing the back of her head with the other. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just - fuck…” You could see tears welling up in her eyes as she furrowed her brows and tried to keep it together. “You just reminded me of someone. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. It’s just… you don’t know everything about me yet. Maybe it’s time you did so you can decide if you still want me.” 

She averted her eyes and let her hands fall to your thighs. For the second time in minutes, you felt strangely exposed and out of place. You nodded, then you stood up and turned away. It felt like your heart was slowly tearing at the seams and pouring blood into your stomach. Why couldn’t this be easy? What was the secret Abby had kept from you? You couldn’t imagine not wanting her anymore. She was everything you had ever dreamed of, the only person that had ever made you truly happy and it was impossible for you to see a future without her. The thought alone felt like a knife to your stomach. 

You quickly pulled a big hooded sweatshirt from your backpack and put it on before taking off the swimsuit and slipping into fresh underwear and linen pants. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Abby getting dressed as well. 

“I’m gonna get some wood from the back and start a fire on the beach,” you declared into the silence and rushed out the door without daring to look at Abby. 

You piled up the wood on the sand, added some dried grass and small sticks in the middle and lit them with a match. The breeze had died down and the fire started at the first try. Abby came down from the cabin with two plaid blankets, a water bottle, and a small loaf of bread from your provisions. She spread one of the blankets on the ground and motioned for you to sit down, putting the second one around your shoulders when you had settled. 

She sat down next to you and took a few gulps of water before handing the bottle to you. You were thankful for the cool liquid soothing your dry throat after the day in the sun and saltwater. 

Abby took a deep breath, then she began. 

She told you about her life at Salt Lake, growing up among the Fireflies, about her father, the surgeon, and the search for a vaccine. They had heard there was a girl who was immune and on her way to them, but only a few people believed it, among them her dad. When the day finally came, she had been out training with her boyfriend Owen and upon her arrival at the base, everyone was talking about the girl and the surgery her father was about to perform on her in order to try to develop a vaccine. There was an actual chance of salvation, everyone was enthusiastic. 

Then the shooting had happened. Joel, the man who had brought the girl had suddenly changed his mind and abducted the girl straight from the operating table. He had shot everyone in his way. When Abby ran to find her father, it had been too late. Joel had killed him and with him the last chance of making a vaccine. Abby’s world had been destroyed in a matter of minutes.

That day, she had sworn vengeance. She had started training even harder than before and followed every tip she got to find Joel. The Fireflies had crumbled and she and a small group of friends had joined the WLF. Abby had broken up with Owen and everyone but her had given up on vengeance, but one day she had found Joel and his brother Tommy. She had brought them to the cabin where she was staying with her crew and she had killed Joel. An eye for an eye. 

What she hadn’t expected was the young woman turning up at the last second to inevitably watch Joel die. They had left her and Tommy there and seen the matter as dealt with.

Then, suddenly, Abby’s friends had been killed one by one. This was at the same time she had met Lev and helped him flee from the Seraphites. In Seattle, she had come face to face with Ellie, the immune girl from way back and the woman who had watched Joel, her father figure, die at the hands of Abby. She had been the one to kill Abby’s crew trying to find her. Abby however had defeated her and Tommy once more and warned them not to come after her again. 

Months after, just as they had made first contact with the Catalina Fireflies, Abby and Lev had been captured by the Rattlers and were tortured for weeks. One day, Ellie had turned up there and helped them escape before challenging Abby to one last fight to the death, threatening to kill Lev if Abby wouldn’t do it. They had fought a gruesome battle, both sustaining terrible wounds before Ellie had given up and let Abby and Lev go. 

Abby didn’t know where she was now and if she had survived, and she didn’t care. She knew why Ellie had pursued her and she knew Ellie understood her reasons, too. Still, the loss they had suffered at the hands of the other was unbearable. Abby had lost everyone she had ever trusted or shared good memories with to horrific deaths and there would never be justice. She would never get them back and she would never understand why all this had to happen. 

By the end of her story, Abby was sobbing. You had wrapped your blanket around the both of you and your hand lay on her thigh, but you didn’t dare to make closer contact. You didn’t know what to think of all this. What a waste. What a terrible, devastating tragedy. How horrible to suffer this much and have no one to blame, nothing to do with all the pain and grief. 

Abby wiped her eyes with the corner of the blanket.

“I think, if I hadn’t found Lev, I wouldn’t have made it. I would have let her kill me. What was there to live for after everything that had happened?”

The thought of Abby dying was the final pull that ripped your heart to shreds. You pressed both of your hands to your chest to make sure you were okay, panting heavily as you tried to find something to say. There was nothing you could offer that would make this hell better for her. The realization was crushing. 

You both sat in silence for a few minutes while Abby tried to calm her breathing and you tried to calm your thoughts. Finally, you broke the silence.

“I’ve loved Lev from the minute I met him and I’m so thankful he’s here.”

What you wanted to say, wanted to scream into the flames, was that you had loved Abby since the second you saw her, that she had your heart, that this was fucking confusing but didn’t change your feelings for her and that you would never give up on trying to be with her. 

“That little boy has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. He’s been through so much and he had to grow up in the span of a few months, but when I see him smile or hear him laugh or talk about, fucking sustainable agriculture” - she had to laugh through a veil of tears - “I know it was all worth it. Every fight, every day in that godforsaken cell, every bullet. He’s my reason.”

Fuck it. It was better to tell her right now than to suffer the uncertainty any longer.

“Abby, I honestly don’t know what to say. I can’t even begin to perceive the horrors you’ve been through and I’m not going to act like I even remotely understand how you feel. What I do know is this: there is no one to blame in this whole terrible web of tragedy. What matters is that it’s over and that you now have the chance to live a life without constant danger and death and disaster. And I’m going to be at your side every day, no matter how long it takes for you to accept safety and peace and maybe even happiness into your life, even if it takes you forever. I have never felt the way I feel with you, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this deeply. I understand that you’re far away sometimes and I know there is still a lot of distance between us and you don’t have to reciprocate any of this, but I just want you to _know_. Know you are loved, know you have a place here, and know I will do everything in my power to help you through this.”

Abby’s eyes had gone wide at your monologue and she seemed completely blindsided by your confession. How had she not seen this coming? Did she seriously think she was just some fling to you? A little summer fun? What was she thinking, anyway? 

The blonde stared into the fire, contemplating and kneading her fingers.

“Today was the first time I didn’t think of them for several hours. Ever since we arrived, I just tucked it all away in a corner of my mind and decided I could be sad tomorrow because today, with you, I would be happy.”

You held your breath and waited for her to continue, not daring to move or say a word.

“And I really was. Happy, you know? And you’re different, too. Owen was there for me so I was there for him. It just turned out I didn’t care for him as much as he did for me. And that really, really fucking sucks to know now that he’s gone. But I can’t change it. All I know is that I’ve never cared for anyone as much as I care for you. You’re constantly on my mind and I get irritated and impatient when I haven’t seen you for too long, usually meaning only a couple hours, which is a little pathetic if I gotta be honest.”

She looked at you and it felt like she was staring right into your soul. You were frozen, in disbelief at what she was telling you. She held out her hand and you took it, your fingers naturally slipping between hers and closing around her palm. How could two bodies fit each other that perfectly? Abby took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the fire again. 

“I still have a long way to go with all this and the next few days are going to absolutely fucking horrible. I have no idea how I’m going to survive that. But with you by my side, I want to try. For you, for Lev, and for all the people I’ve lost. I owe it to them to make the best of the life I still have.” 

She lifted your hands to her face and kissed the back of your hand.

“You, Y/N, have stirred something inside me I haven’t felt in years. It feels warm and hopeful and eager to see what the next day brings. And because I know tomorrow will bring a lot of pain, at the moment I just want to see what the next hour brings.”

You let your head fall on her shoulder and she put an arm around you. It had gone completely dark and the fire was slowly dying down, but you were warm and comfortable. The night was singing a bittersweet song for those gone too soon, the trees humming their wonderful tenor as the waves joined in with a whisper, the bats over your heads drumming their fleeting rhythm, and an owl completing the symphony with her wailing cries. 

Abby started talking again and telling you stories about her time with the Fireflies while ripping off little pieces of bread and feeding them to you. One day, her and Owen had helped her dad free a zebra that had gotten caught in some wire. Her first kiss had been Nora, her closest friend and a brilliant doctor. Leah and Jordan had been the power couple at the WLF, brilliant together but also extremely annoying whenever they started wildly making out at parties or fucking in the bathroom thinking the others wouldn’t hear. Then there was Mel, part of the group but in a difficult triangle with Abby and Owen. She had been pregnant with Owen’s child when Ellie killed her. And Yara, what a wonderful young woman. Lev’s sister had stood by him and defended him when he had gotten in trouble with the Seraphites and she had done everything she could to protect him until the day she died. From that day on, Abby had taken that responsibility. 

She also told you about her fear of heights and the trip through the sky with Lev, now laughing as she admitted how bizarre it all seemed looking back. It was nice to hear her laugh again and to finally really get to know her.

When the fire was nothing more than a few smoldering coals, Abby suggested going back to the cabin. You packed up your things and carried them back inside. Abby lit the lamp again while you folded the sandy blankets and put them to the side. Then you locked the door.

As you turned around, you could see Abby standing next to the bed, looking at you. Her features were only lit from the side, golden light flickering over her cheekbones and jaw. Her head was slightly cocked and her hands were restless again, searching for something to hold on to and finding only each other. 

“Come here,” she said in a low voice. You felt yourself drawn to her by an invisible string, moving faster with every step until you clashed into her, hands and arms entangling, hot mouths pressed together. She let herself fall back onto the bed and pulled you down with her.

You couldn’t tell if the rushing in your ears was the sea or your own blood, but it didn’t matter. Abby’s calloused hands were exploring your back under the sweatshirt, her thigh was pressed between yours and her heavy breathing joined the harmony in your head. 

You paused for a minute, staring down at the beautiful face beneath you, her expression promising that she was all yours. 

“You're so fucking beautiful,” you whispered, then you kissed her again and dragged her down with you into an ocean of pleasure.


End file.
